Saturday Thoughts
Will I ever be done healing? I feel it today, almost 15 years later. A scar on my body, from my chest to my stomach. It feels old, bumpy, raised and grissily. The deep wound is healed over, but the scar still hurts. It is tender to the touch and painful when pressed. Will this be my life forever? Always thinking about the past. What I could have and should have done differently. The way I let people tell me what to do. Holding back my anger and feeling the burning in my chest and tightness in my throat. Living in a continuous cycle of attempted peace and understanding that spirals into rage and hatred. Nothing makes sense. 15 years, but it feels like 15 minutes.